How To Have An Orgasm During Sex or Masturbation

Have you ever considered using a vibrator? Many women worry about the idea of getting to orgasm with the help of a vibrator. But an orgasm is an orgasm - no matter how it is achieved - and very often having one with a vibrator will make it a lot easier to have one with your fingers, or your partner's fingers, or in any other way. And of course you are always in control of the vibrator, and you can explore how to use it - just as you explored self-stimulation with your fingers.

You may be worried that your partner will feel excluded. You can reduce or eliminate these fears by having him help you choose it, trying it out on his own body, and sharing your experiences. If used correctly, that is to say as part of a couple's pleasuring, then a vibrator can expand both your sexual horizons, not diminish them! So once you have chosen the vibrator - see www.babeland.com and www.lovehoney.co.uk for good suppliers - you can begin by trying it out on each other's bodies: your arms, back, neck, legs, chest and belly. Be cautious if you experiment with your genitals!

Shop around, especially by looking at various websites which sell these items: we recommend www.babeland.com and www.lovehoney.co.uk which are run by women and very female-friendly places.

When you have chosen one, use it as though it was a luxury tool to help you enjoy self-pleasuring. With massage oil or sensuous lotion on your skin, move the vibrator down your body and see how the vibrations feel, especially around your genitals: are they intense? Experiment with various pressures and movements, seeing what you like the most. Take your time.

Don't try to become sexually aroused. Just experiment and see what happens.

After twenty minutes, think about your experience. How did it feel different when you used the vibrator compared to when you were using your fingers? Could you touch yourself with the vibrator anywhere, or were the sensations too intense in some areas? You may have found the sensations too intense for your nipples and clitoris, for example. If so, and you find your clitoris going numb, simply relax, and move the vibrator away to stimulate another area until normal sensations have returned to the clitoris.

It's also a great idea to allow your body to move as it wishes while you use the vibrator. For example, let your pelvis move in any way that feels right as you enjoy the sensations of the vibrator - you may want to mimic the movements of sex, for example, by thrusting your pelvis.

Remember to breathe, too; holding your breath allows muscular tension to build up, which may inhibit your sexual response.

If the stimulation is right, you may find that you reach orgasm after about half an hour of using the vibrator. But the point is not to worry about the time, not whether you get to orgasm; rather, it is simply to allow the experience to flow over you.

Don't forget to use fantasy, movement, and erotic literature - in fact, anything which makes you feel sexier and more sensuous. Your vibrator is not a substitute for your partner, it is an adjunct to your sexual relationship with him, something which can turn you both on and add to your pleasure. So don't worry about the possibility that you might develop a relationship with the vibrator rather than your partner!

But what if you don't have an orgasm with the vibrator?

If you haven't had orgasm after a week or two of using the vibrator, you may feel very discouraged. However, you won't get anywhere by giving up now! Often the greatest breakthroughs are experienced just as you think that you aren't making any progress. One useful tip for many women is to try massage - to have an aromatherapy massage from a qualified practitioner. This can allow you to relax completely and stop worrying about self-stimulation. You can focus entirely on the sensations of being in your body in a non-sexual way, and develop a greater appreciation of bow it feels to be in your skin.

If you have reached orgasm you may have thought it was more or less wonderful than you expected. You may have felt relief, disappointment, happiness, sadness, or any of a number of other emotions. These are all normal! Whatever you experienced is right for you now, and of course there will be a whole variety of experiences, both physical and emotional, to come!

If you have had an orgasm with a vibrator, enjoy several sessions and then include more and more hand stimulation into your masturbation, perhaps alternating hand movements with the vibrator. You may find that this means it takes you longer to get to orgasm, but at the same time you may have a stronger orgasm.

Or you may wish to use both the vibrator and your hands as you masturbate. Both your hands and the vibrator can be a great way of getting sexual pleasure. You can decide what you like best and still be flexible in how you enjoy self-pleasuring.

As a woman, you know all about the inconvenience of menstruation - or the delight of this positive sign of your ability to bear new life. In either event, it can be a significant factor in a woman's appreciation of her own sexuality, so we discuss some key aspects of menstruation on a separate page, which you may wish to look at before you continue on your orgasmic journey.

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