Our unique program will show you how to become fully orgasmic, meaning you can have orgasms more easily and more often. Click on the link below...

How To Have An Orgasm!

How To Have An Orgasm During Sex or Masturbation

Enjoying orgasms during sexual intercourse

It's a very attractive idea to have an orgasm during intercourse - for both men and women. You may want to experience this yourself - you may even think that sexual intercourse is the only good time to have an orgasm! We need to look at that belief before we go any further.....

Here's something to think about - no matter how you reach orgasm, it is the same thing. You may feel it to be more rewarding if it happens during intercourse, but physiologically it is exactly the same process. So whether you use masturbation, a vibrator, oral sex, or climax during intercourse, it is the same bodily response.

So the next piece of information that I would like to offer is the fact that no matter how considerate or selfish a lover you are, no matter how masculine or feminine you may be, no matter how emotionally healthy you may be, how masculine, feminine, expert or inexpert at making love, no matter what the size of your penis, breasts, vagina or body, the only thing that's different between you and all other women is that some women cum during intercourse, and some do not!

There is a school of thought that the best way to enjoy sex for a couple is for the man to give the woman pleasure - for which read an orgasm - by oral sex, masturbation, or some other form of sexual play (a vibrator, perhaps) and for her to get this satisfaction before he enjoys intercourse. There are many reasons for this, not least because a woman who has achieved orgasm wants more contact, sexual or otherwise, with her partner, whereas a man who has had an orgasm generally wants to relax if not sleep. If you consider this approach to sex, it then makes a lot of sense, because it gives both partners an orgasm, and both get to enjoy intercourse (however long it lasts) without feeling the pressure of needing to try for an orgasm during that experience - which can make it much more enjoyable. Should you happen to be troubled by premature ejaculation in your relationship, you can get sexual dysfunction cures here. These include information about how to delay your ejaculation, and also of course excellent information on ending erectile dysfunction with treatments which are perfectly tuned to your individual requirements. Should you have a continuing problem with sexual issues, the author is available personally to offer counseling over the internet. Premature ejaculation control is essential for a good sex life, so I recommend you use these premature ejaculation treatments together with sexual strategies which will enable you to decide when to have your orgasm in lovemaking. This level of control allows your woman or other sexual partner to reach orgasm, too.

Indeed, there is no reason why you should need to have an orgasm during intercourse to be sexually satisfied - it's actually just a rather lovely thing to do. And that, of course, may be enough reason to want it to happen. However, the fact is that while it may be a desirable objective, it's challenging to actually make it happen. For one thing, very few women can climax during intercourse.

Yes, it's true: it's actually very uncommon for women to reach orgasm during intercourse. Let's leave aside for the moment the argument that if men could last longer during sex things might be different! The simple fact is that men do not tend to last more than two or three minutes before they ejaculate during intercourse with their partner, and they have little incentive to make it last longer - an orgasm is their reward, and that can happen quickly. Then again, a man always - or almost always - wants to please his partner during sex, and giving her an orgasm is a major boost to a man's self-esteem. When you combine these two apparently incompatible facts, you soon see that the best way to deal with the dilemma is to adopt a strategy for sex which involves what I just outlined - the man gives the woman orgasm(s) with oral sex, toys or masturbation, then the couple enjoy intercourse, and then they relax together afterwards. (The percentage of women who regularly enjoy an orgasm during intercourse is certainly less than fifteen percent. It might even be as low as ten percent.) For couples who have differing sex drives, the issue of sex addiction and hypersexuality may be important. Check out advice on the passion project for men.

But, if, despite all this, you really want to have an orgasm as you make love, what should you do? Passion is a key factor. The more passionate you feel about sex, the better it will work for you - simply because you want to be with you lover and you feel desire for him/her. That essential spark of sexual chemistry is vital in stirring up the sexual arousal which can lead easily to orgasm.

Before we go any further, you might want to ask yourselves why having simultaneous orgasm as you fuck is so important to you both. If it's simply a case of feeling that you "should" achieve this, then think again! That in itself is not sufficient reason for feeling this way - you need to talk about it.

But if you think you're doing OK sexually, that your progress towards being able to climax when you wish is going alright, and you'd just like to introduce this extra dimension into your sex life, then there's a variety of techniques you can try which may help you to achieve simultaneous orgasm as you make love. By all means, try them, but when they start interfering with your pleasure and getting in the way of your sexual satisfaction, maybe it's time to think again! Certainly if you lose the erotic quality of your lovemaking, and become less excited, then drop the attempt!

Here are three techniques you can try out to see if they produce (simultaneous) orgasms during intercourse

1 Stimulate the clitoris during intercourse

The simplest way in which you might try for an orgasm while fucking is by stimulating the woman's clitoris, while the man slows down or speeds up his movements so that he can time his arrival at orgasm roughly with the woman (certainly if she starts to orgasm, then he is likely to rapidly follow suit, since having his penis inside her vagina while she enjoys her orgasm is an extremely exciting experience for him). Either the man or the woman can touch her clitoris in the way most likely to bring her to orgasm. If the clitoris becomes over-sensitive or loses sensitivity, you may need to adapt how you touch it so that there is less direct pressure on the head. Working around the sides of the clitoris is often a good way to avoid the problem of oversensitivity.

If you lose clitoral sensitivity during intercourse there are various ways to deal with the problem. Start by masturbating with a sex toy or finger inside your vagina - this will help you to get accustomed to the feel of a full vagina while you masturbate. Your objective is to mimic the movements of a penis during intercourse, with your finger or a sex toy so that you get accustomed to the sensation of having a full vagina while you stimulate your clitoris (not just when you reach a certain level of arousal). When you have become familiar with the sensations which this produces, you can ask your partner to place his finger in your vagina and move it in the same way while either he or you stimulates your clitoris. This is another step on the way to becoming accustomed to enjoying clitoral stimulation while your vagina is simultaneously stimulated, either with a penis or with a finger. Once you can reach orgasm in this way, have your partner insert his penis into your vagina while you masturbate - or while he masturbates you. After a while, you will be familiar enough with this stimulation to enjoy the sensation of your partner moving his penis in and out of your vagina while either of you stimulates your clitoris.

Approaching the goal of orgasm during intercourse using this method will take time and effort. It's worth taking it in small steps, not expecting too much at any one time, and moving ahead persistently until you are able to enjoy orgasm with penetration. (It's much less difficult for the man to time his orgasm to coincide with the woman's than vice versa.)

Another way of achieving simultaneous climax during intercourse

Take your time during foreplay to get near to orgasm. This might be with oral sex from the man to the woman, or with finger stimulation from the man to the woman. But as soon as the woman begins to come, switch from mouth to hand stimulation, have the man insert his penis, and continue with hand stimulation. It may take a while to get this right, and it may even produce less strong orgasms at first, but eventually with enough practice, you'll be able to enjoy your orgasms with direct hand stimulation of her clitoris during intercourse. Mind you, you have to be able to laugh about this! It can look and feel comical before you've refined it and got it working properly.

Enjoying clitoral stimulation during intercourse

As always when you enjoy sex play, start by getting relaxed and doing whatever will make you feel comfortable with each other. Being relaxed and at ease is a vital first step in any sexual growth, since you need to feel trusting of your partner before you can fully let go and become at ease with what you are doing. So your foreplay might include kissing, cuddling, caressing, stroking, using sex toys like the vibrator, and general body massage. Foreplay is essential for the woman to become fully aroused - and as long as you are not bored by it, and as long as you are both enjoying it, you can let it go on for as long as you wish - the longer the better, in fact. The minimum amount of foreplay you should consider is twenty minutes, and an hour is about right!

When you feel ready, insert the penis into the vagina - using some good quality artificial lube if necessary - and take your time to get accustomed to the sensations. There's no need to rush into anything, least of all thrusting. Just relax and enjoy the intimacy of being together. Caress and stroke each other, kiss, fondle and enjoy the closeness. Begin by just lying together enjoying the sensations, and when you do move, take it slowly and gently. Side by side positions are good for reaching round to fondle each other's genitals, kissing and talking. More about lubricants for intercourse here.

As always with sex, communication is essential - the woman, in particular, needs to tell the man how hard, fast and deep she likes penetration and thrusting so that he can judge how to move in a way that pleases her and causes her no discomfort. It's especially important that the woman communicates with the man - he is likely to enjoy penetration in almost any position, which may not be true for her. When you have experimented for a while, take a break. Let her squeeze his penis with her vaginal muscles so he can feel the pleasure of her vagina tightening around him.

If at this stage you want to move on to trying manual stimulation, please be aware that it may not go very smoothly first time you try it! Like everything else in the world of sex, you have to get used to how it works for you both. You'll find, for example, that each sex position gives you different opportunities to touch each other's genitals - so you'll probably want to start by finding the one that is easiest for you. I'd recommend woman on top as the man lies on his back, or side by side.

When she's on top, she can control the depth of penetration and easily reach her clitoris, though kissing is more difficult. If he's going to come too soon, it's easy to let his penis slip out of the vagina and to carry on touching and kissing until his arousal has dropped and you can resume intercourse. Occasionally he may come too soon - well, never mind! It happens, and you can always continue next time.

If he loses his erection, or becomes impotent, while making love just continue stimulating each other with your hands using lubricant on his penis if necessary. It's not a big deal - erections come and go during sex! Rubbing his penis along the length of your vulva may give him all the stimulation he needs to recapture his erection.

In general, you are looking for a sex position for intercourse where you both feel comfortable and in which you can reach the woman's clitoris after penetration. (If you like rear entry sex, it may be possible for the man to stimulate the woman's clitoris in this sex position, but he needs to reach around her to get at it; he may find clitoral stimulation easier if he can actually see her clitoris. If she's going to stimulate herself, this may be irrelevant.) See www.sex-techniques-and-positions.com for sex positions information.

Of course, there are other pleasures to be had from rear entry sex: it is exciting, arousing, and very pleasurable for men and often women as well, and it allows for deep penile penetration - men with long penises are more easily accommodated!

Man on top sex or missionary position sex allows little opportunity for the man to stimulate the woman's clitoris, but it can be done with practice if the man supports himself on one elbow.

Information on sex positions.

Advice for great sex!

Try out a few positions from the collection each time you have sex to find out which are your best positions. Don't assume that once you have arranged yourselves into a certain position you just have to stay there! A lot of couples switch positions during sex, stop thrusting, rest, try out different speeds and rhythms of thrusting, use the vibrator, break for massage, kissing, cuddling and so on, and generally play around during the whole session.

Such a relaxed attitude will help take off all the pressure and give you a fun, relaxed experience without the continual pressure of assuming that you are on a direct road to orgasm, and you can't get off it before you both come - preferably simultaneously!

For those who are becoming orgasmic, coming as you fuck is the objective at this stage - whether or not it happens simultaneously. It may help if you actually decide to let this happen, to decide mentally that you want it to happen and that this is your objective. You may find you have an orgasm easily, or you may find things go slowly. It's important to ensure that you focus on the positive, the gains, the movements towards orgasm and the small improvements in your level of enjoyment of sex each time you make love.

Everything that you know about your sexual response, and everything you have learned up to this point can be helpful in finding your way through to orgasm, especially the orgasm triggers which will "set you off" when you are nearing orgasm. Use fantasy, remember that you are not responsible for your partner's pleasure, and that good communication is essential for good sex. Being intimate and relaxed with each other is also essential.

Enjoying the afterglow

There are so many ways you can enjoy your intimacy. If you don't reach orgasm during sex, you may want to have one afterwards with masturbation or a vibrator. Or you may want to have one before intercourse starts, so that when the man has ejaculated, you can lie together afterwards in the contented glow of post-orgasmic satisfaction. Whatever you do, don't just turn over and go to sleep!

[ How to orgasm during sexual intercourse ] [ Home page ]

Caressing A Partner to turn them on sexually ] Genital caresses to excite your partner ] Sex After 50 - Important Information for Women ] How to relax ] [ How to climax - ways to have an orgasm during sexual intercourse ] Learning how to reach orgasm - becoming orgasmic through masturbation ]