|What Turns Women On!
Some Research Into What Attracts Women Sexually In Men
This material is the product of research into 200 women, who responded to a questionnaire about what they find attractive in men....The main groups of responses were (click on the link to go to that section):
Of 200 correspondents, 153 (more than two thirds) claim to have their physically ideal male, who is ideal because his appearance or some feature actually arouses them sexually. As you will see, they are as definite in their likes and dislikes as most men are in this respect.
Mary is sixteen and still at school. She lives in London, England.
"I hope I'm not considered too young to be of any use in your research. I've been fucking since I was thirteen, so I do have a good idea about what turns me on. Physical appearance. What I really love is a guy with long legs. Not very muscular ones, but slightly meaty ones. There is nothing worse than a man with skinny legs. I like a bottom that you can actually see and really feel.
"Pink, juicy-looking nipples really make my clitoris throb. I can't stand men with little brown nipples. If the man has very dark hair, then lots of it all over his body is very arousing. But I think what makes my vagina moist quicker than anything is a young, teenage, 'feminine' blond, hairless guy.
I like skin to be pale, but not pasty. Deep tans do nothing for me at all. I find that with older men (early forties) I'd rather not see their bodies. I'm generalizing a bit because I've only seen about half a dozen, but what I've seen have been slightly on the middle-aged spread side. A young body definitely turns me on more and quicker."
There is a clue to Mary's preference for young teenage "feminine" boys in another answer, where she admits to having lesbian fantasies.
Kate is twenty-two, married, and lives in Britain.
"Yes, I am turned on by a man's physical appearance. My 'sexy' male is tall, good-looking, twenty to thirty. He must wear trendy clothes, especially those lovely tight trousers, to show off a nice round bottom. I saw a superb specimen waiting at my bus stop the other day, and his bottom was so gorgeous, I decided I just had to take a later bus, and go to the nearest bathroom and wank myself off. It was fantastic.
My husband has a lovely bottom, too. I often wish I had a cock so that I could go up it. But it isn't so beautiful as that boy's. I couldn't get it out of my mind. When we had sex that night, I stroked my husband's bottom imagining it was the bus-stop boy's. I had a G spot orgasm and ejaculated everywhere when I came."
Elizabeth lives in England in one of the towns of the west country.
"These are my answers," she began, "in order of association. By the way, I am twenty-seven and single and heterosexual. I'm aroused by....
"Certainly by a man's appearance. The theory that women don't share the impersonal, masculine (so called) roving eye is a load of balls. I enjoy looking at men when I walk down the street, especially the way their hips move. One game I often play to pass the time in trains or buses is to look around at all the males and choose which one I would go to bed with.
Once I got into a compartment in the tube (subway) with three men who were all so sexy I couldn't make up my mind between them. I became so absorbed that I went right past my station.
"My idea of a sexy male is someone with a good figure (not flabby or thin), broad shoulders, narrow hips, and delicate facial features - someone with a twinkle in his eye and a look of fitness and energy - thick curly hair and full lips, also nice teeth and healthy gums. Missing teeth give me the creeps, so do falsies and baldness. I like firm muscles and a look of solidity about a man, and also a look of mischief or playfulness.
I like a certain athleticism, but not wrestlers or boxers. As far as bodies go, the Javelin Thrower in Delphi museum is my idea of a super body and Rodin's The Kiss is very arousing. However, it's hard to separate the mental and the physical, and in spite of ideal standards, there are probably not many men, however ugly, who wouldn't appeal to me ultimately if there was a strong mental link and they were good lovers.
Often good-looking men turn out to be a lot less sensual and proficient than their more imperfect counterparts. Certain races appeal more than others.
There's nothing like the Irish - the most lyrical lovers of all. Italians look good, so do the French and many Indians. Anglo-Saxons don't look very sexy, but often are. Personally, I don't idolise tall men, although I like to feel I've got something of pleasing substantiality in my arms, otherwise I feel like a mother putting my arms round a child instead of a lover. Physical fitness and good posture are important to me, also a healthy look.
A lot of English men (and women) don't take care of their bodies. What more? Oh, yes - men's backs naked over a pair of jeans are one of the most arousing sights this world has to offer."
Anita lives in Sacramento. She is twenty-three, college-educated, majored in drama, with strong emphasis on psychology, sociology, and political science. She is radical in politics and "quite interested in alternate living styles - and definitely countercultural."
"I am very definitely turned on by physical appearances - any attractive man on the street. I am particularly turned on by short, slender graceful types with (very important) nice hands, eyes, and small features, preferably 'cute.' The three guys that I have been turned on by were of this type. I am, by the way, of average height, five feet six, average weight, 108 pounds, measurements average - not a big person.
Part of my preference is due to the fact that I honestly can't stand guys bigger than myself and, in fact, am grossed out by big clumsy looking people - women included. Also, my father is small and there is a bisexual leaning in my tastes. Small men often seem to have lively, bright personalities to maybe compensate for size. Sure they turn me on, though.
"My present lover is relatively interesting and I'm highly attracted to him. He is five feet seven, small-boned, 130 pounds, with, the slight but athletic body of a dancer, broad shoulders, slender hips, though not as small as mine, muscular, and has a catlike grace and agility.
Hands the same size as mine, slender neck, small feet, small straight features, basically a highly masculine face-thick black eyebrows, heavy forehead, very angular face-shape, wide full mouth (I like wide mouths), big heavily lashed eyes, very thick but always clean-shaven beard, heavy moustache and sideburns (all of which I like very much).
He has to shave twice a day, but that heavy five o'clock shadow really, turns me on. Arms a little on the hairy side, so is chest some. Rather nice. The combination of almost extreme masculinity on a very finely boned and featured man are fantastic.
However, he is not always able to bring me to orgasm when I want it, and I find that very frustrating. I have discovered a fantastic program which I recommend highly to all men who wish to bring a woman to orgasm. Check it out - www.orgasmbycommandreview.com - it is the best of its kind."
Iris lives in Toronto, Canada. She is twenty-three and has been a prostitute for three and a half years. She says, "I have always been turned on by a man's physical appearance, but when I was younger I was only aroused by men in clothing, men who knew how to dress and accent their best features.
Most of my affairs - not my clients - were blonde, tall and lean, but they were always sharp dressers.
It was a turn on to be seen with them in public. Up until my current affair, and the one just previous to it, most of my men would not be labeled movie stars as types, but they were memorable because they were unique looking and had style.
"Suddenly, about two and a half years ago, I changed. A year before that I was a dancer and on a gig I met a black musician. I thought I loved him, but I only went on the streets for him, because he was cool and classy, and every black chick in Toronto knew him.
He was a fantastically talented drummer for an up and coming group, and when I walked into the club after work, everyone knew I was his woman.
"He was approximately six foot two and slender. He sported a beautiful afro and a deep scar in his right cheek. His features were white more than black. Naked he seemed almost too slim, but he had a cool grace that I found irresistible. Right after I left my tall, dark pimp, I met Bill, my present lover. He was a bartender and we grew to be friends. I thought he was handsome, but too dark and muscular to be my type.
He is half-Indian and his hair is almost black. He also seemed a little on the young side. Actually he is one month younger than me. He knew I was a prostitute and accepted the fact. I finally ended up sleeping with him. That was two and half years ago and I had his baby daughter three months ago.
We had the best sex during pregnancy you could ever have imagined, and even now he is the first man I've ever been so physically attracted to. He looks even better with his clothes off.
"He is five feet eight inches tall and beautifully muscled. The sun turns him dark bronze in the summer and his skin has the look and feel of expensive velvet. Every inch of him is as hard as stone, and the hair on his chest is fine and forms a cross from collarbone to navel, and nipple to nipple.
His face and body are perfectly contoured. He could really put Michelangelo's David to shame. He has a behind that a lot of women would trade their souls for and it turns me on to the point of being uncomfortably excited.
When he walks around the house nude I usually end up cornering him in the bedroom. He wears beautiful shirts and sexy jeans especially for me. Even a little thing like a few curls showing through an open neckline or taut muscles moving under the fabric of his jeans turns me on fiercely. He's beautifully hung.
We measured his penis and he is five inches in length and four and a half in circumference when flaccid. Fully erect his penis measures seven and a half inches in length and five and a half in circumference.
"Not one word of my description is false. Bill is the answer to most girls' dreams. In fact, most of the women he meets have no qualms about inviting him to bed before they even know him. He has a full-time job now which keeps those muscles hard, but he is still a part-time bartender, and as I sometimes go with him for a few drinks on Saturday night, I've had opportunity to see women make out-and-out physical passes at him. They even pinch his behind!"
I don't know what effect that description has on you, but I can feel myself responding to Iris's arousal though I have no part in that arousal. Somehow she has managed to impart the sexual impact that Bill's body has on her. She not only responds to his physical appeal, but, like a male, translates the physical into the cerebral. Is she imagining having his baby? Does she see a future romantic relationship which will entail sex during pregnancy?
What's the purpose of sex? I have always contended that "fun-sex," i.e., sex purely for the physical sensations, is far inferior to the experience of lovemaking, where physical sex is used to convey to the partner, and he/she to you, the depth of the emotional love you feel for one another. If there isn't actual love, then at least, the very least, there must be feelings of respect and regard for one another.
If neither love nor respect are present then taking part in sex is purely animal fucking, which I believe is degrading. This means that the one-night stand is out, as is true promiscuity - sex with anyone who happens to be along - there must be an emotional relationship of sorts; and such a relationship can only be built up over a number of meetings, for only very rarely is there instantaneous emotional connection.
It has long been thought that the male is more promiscuous than the female and that he is so because of his easy and quick physical response to sexual stimuli, while the female, whose responses are very much slower and elusive, places a far greater value on the emotional side of a sexual relationship than on the physical.
Put more briefly, a man can fuck, enjoy himself, and forget, whereas for a woman each experience has a significance which makes it difficult, if not impossible, for her to fuck unless she has an emotional regard for her partner.
When one considers the scientific analysis of human sexual response, however, this seems to be the very opposite of what should happen.
On the one side you have the male's physical responses seen mostly as the outcome of psychological stimulation while the woman physically responds chiefly to physical stimuli, and on the other side that the male's experience is more significantly physical than psychological while the female's experience is an emotional experience rather than a physical one.
Since I began this study, I am coming to conclude more and more that in the past the woman's sexual responses to physical stimuli have not been sufficiently taken into account, nor the fact that just like the man she is aroused to physical response by the psychological stimuli into which she translates her physical stimuli.
I think the chief difference between male and female response is that the male is unaware of the psychological stimuli because his physical responses are so obvious-it is absolutely impossible to ignore a hard-on - whereas the female is aware of her psychological stimuli because she cannot achieve them without deliberate physical stimuli.
Even from the statements I have already given, this seems to me to emerge very plainly, and the statements that follow will serve to underline it.
Betty lives in Los Angeles, California. She is sixteen and in high school.
She says: "The way some boys look does turn me on. Boys with long hair look great, and also if they have a moustache or a small beard. The boys that attract me are tall and not fat. They look great wearing jeans and clothes like that. They look great not wearing a shirt. Their muscles turn me on. Most of my boy friends are good at sports. It turns me on a whole bunch if they wear tight pants so I can see where their cock and balls are."
Though only sixteen, Betty has had sexual experiences, and already she responds to visual stimuli, as the rest of her answers, which I shall be quoting later, unconsciously emphasize. In fact, the greatest part of her responses are derived from visual stimuli. She left blank my second question which asked, "Other male qualities, if appearance does not turn you on."
One might be tempted to argue that in early adolescence the physical rather than the psychological is much more likely to predominate, since the first impression of fucking is that it is a purely physical activity and so does petting to arousal seem to be. But see what Lynne, who lives in New York says; she is twenty-six.
If a man were attractive to me in many other ways but was not physically attractive, I could not be aroused by him. I will try to describe the kind of physical appearance that is arousing to me. Facially, I like a man who looks rugged but not coarse. I do not like a man with a baby face. He must have blue eyes and hair that is thick and wavy. His hair, must be well-styled and not real long or shaggy.
He must be taller than I am (five feet seven in my bare feet), and he should not be visibly underweight or overweight. I like a man who looks sturdy and muscular, but I don't like a man who looks like a muscleman.
I especially like a man with broad shoulders and a large chest. There are also little things that make a difference to me. I like a man whose hands look strong, and who has long fingers. It also arouses me for a man to have a good amount of hair on his body, but he should not be overly hairy. It's especially arousing for me if he has a good amount of hair on his chest, and he has a thick growth of pubic hair.
"One thing that is very important to me is the shape of a man's bottom. A well-shaped bottom is one of the first things I look for in a man. It should be round and firm and not too large. One other thing that is important to me is that he have good teeth. I can't stand a man whose teeth look bad when he smiles."
Any kind of relationship should involve a modicum of care and concern for one's lover. This doesn't just extend to the obvious things, like being healthy or ensuring your body is clean before you make love. It also means making sure that his or her sexual needs are accounted for, and that you have a good repertoire of sexual techniques which can ensure you are able to pleasure your partner during lovemaking.
For men, good ejaculation control is essential, and for women, high libido and an enthusiasm about sex is a good attribute even when you don't feel essentially sexy. If you have any health issues, you should certainly take the time to clear them up.
Jeanne is an airline stewardess who lives in New York. She is twenty-seven and has been married for two years. She had her first homosexual experience last summer, but all of her other sexual experiences have been with men. "I do feel sexually aroused by men and women alike, but have a strong preference for men." S
he and her husband have a very free relationship. As she is away from home so much, both recognize that they are equally entitled to extramarital affairs.
"Physical appearance. I prefer older men. I do not feel, and never have felt, strong sexual desires for men younger than I, or even of my own age. I am turned on most thoroughly by a man's eyes. I enjoy having men look at me straight in the eyes and I am extremely aroused by eye contact. I feel a certain amount of frankness in a man who can look at me directly. And I definitely like frankness and honesty about sex.
I have had men I do not know tell me quite abruptly that they would like to sleep with me. I have never been put off by this sort of thing. I may not take them up on the offer - and then again I may - but I would certainly never put a man down for this sort of boldness.
And, in addition, whether I responded to the offer or not, I always feel quite turned on by such an encounter. I am five eight and I strongly prefer men taller than I. I am very turned on by facial hair-beards, moustaches. I am aroused by airline pilots in uniform.
"On second thoughts, physical appearance is really not important to me. I like certain physical characteristics in a man, but I would certainly never sleep with a man because of his looks. I did this one time and found it an empty experience. I like men I can talk to. I can find men who want to share much of themselves with me and who enjoy having me do the same. It is with these men - and only with these - that I also share sex."
Blatantly physical is Janet, of London, England. She is twenty-three, unmarried, middle-class, and educated at a large boarding school for girls.
"Naturally I like a man to be good-looking and attractive. I like him to be at least five nine to six feet. I am particularly attracted to young men between eighteen and twenty-five. They should be strong and manly, but not muscular. I like their hair to be long, but not below the shoulders.
I do not like men with hairy chests and legs, and those with hair on their stomachs. I like men with soft and smooth skins and with a minimum of pubic hair, particularly on their testicles. I prefer men to be uncircumcised, first, because I think the uncircumcised penis -provided there is no smegma - is more attractive to look at, both in erection and otherwise, than the circumcised one, and secondly, because I find the uncircumcised penis is far more sexually exciting, particularly in hand masturbation and fellatio, both of which practices I enjoy.
"I find from my experience that young men are not very keen on cunnilingus, or even full sexual intercourse. I find that most young men are satisfied by some tongue-kissing and then being wanked off, or sucked off without anything further. To me, this is all I want, and it gives me the most wonderful orgasms.
If one of them should want to fuck me or suck me off, so much the better. What really turns me on is the feeling of holding a young man's erect penis in my hand, particularly if he is uncircumcised, and then to pull and slide his foreskin backwards and forwards until he comes; in other words to wank him off. I love seeing him come, and I love the feel of his semen on my fingers.
Better still, of course, I love sucking a young man's penis, particularly again if he is uncircumcised, and sucking him until he comes, and I love taking his whole ejaculation in my mouth. This would of course not be possible if the man had delayed ejaculation - click here - but I have never come across this particular physical condition. If anything, quiet the opposite! Ejaculation has been far too rapid for my liking!
Although the semen gives me a slight burning feeling in the throat, I love its salty taste. Whilst wanking or sucking off a young man, I have the most delicious orgasms without him even touching me.
When I was about seventeen I met a very attractive young soldier who was in a Scottish regiment, and he was wearing a kilt. He took me to a cinema, and after a bit he began kissing me. Then he took my hand and put it on his bare knee. Almost automatically I ran my hand up and under his kilt and took hold of his erect penis. I knew at once that he was uncircumcised, and after feeling and squeezing it he suddenly came into my fingers and I had an orgasm.
This was the first time I had ever felt and wanked off a boy. Ever since then I have always been attracted by young soldiers wearing kilts or any young man in a kilt. It is also perhaps because the first boy I ever felt and wanked off was uncircumcised that I always love uncircumcised penises as opposed to circumcised ones, although I enjoy both.
When a man has been circumcised I find he may have delayed ejaculation, though I have never found this with an uncircumcised man. I find that his thrusting for long period of time is a real turn-on.
"I have found, too, that uncircumcised boys get much more excited when being felt, wanked off, or sucked off than circumcised ones, and they also produce much more lubricating juice before they actually come, which excites me. I have known circumcised penises which remain quite dry until just before the moment of coming, but this never happens with uncircumcised ones.
Moreover, men with a circumcised penis tend to have less sensitivity, which means they must go n fucking for longer, and often try to find the sexual position which stimulates them most so that they can actually reach orgasm within a reasonable time span."
I said that Janet is blatantly physical, and so she is at first sight. But she has orgasms without being touched by her partner. This is what is known as mental orgasm, produced by the psychological stimuli. This is rare in women, but does frequently occur in younger men, who are able to fantasize to orgasm. Exactly how Janet translates the physical stimuli of observing an uncircumcised penis ejaculating under her hand into a psychological stimulus so intense that she produces an orgasm in herself I cannot explain since she is unable to identify her thought processes in this situation.
But she exhibits what have been regarded as plainly male characteristics all along the line.
And her comments about the sensitivity of men with circumcised penises reflects research which shows quite conclusively that she is correct - most women who have experience of men with circumcised and uncircumcised penises find that men who are "intact" make better lovers and tend to leave the woman feeling more comfortable after sex.
This is because the natural lubrication of the woman is easily dissipated when the man thrusts if he does not have a foreskin - the prepuce acts as a natural seal between the penis and the vagina. You can read about this mechanism here.
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